#BECOMING: the endless journey with ‘Self’

So excited for you all to read this month’s blog post. Guest writer, Thandisisa Mazibuko shares what #becoming means to her… “Babe, may I write it [from] a feminine perspective… It’s simpler for me [like that]” were her words when I approached her to feature this month… And write she did! This one is dedicated to women and the men who love them!! #thebecomingproject

In a world where we women are drowning in societal mediocrity, it takes utmost courage for one to pursue the often lonely path of birthing the Self. “Becoming” in its essence is a lifetime; a bitter-sweet and often treacherous journey that gives birth to the innate and predestined self unapologetically. It is a fearless tour with the Self were defying the odds becomes inevitable, normality.

Marianne Williamson once said, “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our Light, not darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be BRILLIANT, GORGEOUS, TALENTED and FABULOUS? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small will not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not in some of us but it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others”

The Enemy of Becoming

This clearly exposes the major barrier to “becoming”… Fear!! Fear of self, fear of coming out, fear of defying the norms, fear of standing out and fear our greatness. I, too, am guilty of this. We women have this excessive need to belong and we will go to great lengths of sacrificing the Self in order to fit in and be approved of. We feel the need to “shrink in,” hide our light. and cover up the dynamite that we are so that people do not feel insecure around us. The ultimate justification being to feel accommodated in the crowd because we are now like everyone. This impedes the birthing and nurturing of the Self.

The Price of “Becoming”

The journey to “Becoming” has a price to be paid which is at times one getting used to being friends with loneliness. It involves embracing your uniqueness as a woman and running away from mediocrity. It comes with an understanding that fitting into a certain group does not always mean you belong there. Women, never sacrifice yourself for social approval and the need to belong! I know what it means to “shrink in” and suppress all that I am in order to feel accommodated in a social circle. I know what it means to be afraid of going beyond the normal so that I belong somewhere. I know what it means to decide that being “part of the crowd” is more important than being fully you. Thankfully, I have grown to realize that until we let go of compromising the self to feel accommodated we will forever wallow in mediocrity while being tormented by the “labor pains” of the self that wants to come out.

The above does not mean that the journey to becoming cannot be fruitful without one belonging somewhere. It demands one’s vigilance to distinguish toxic and negative people that will drag you down and winners that will see the best in you and make you thrive in who you are. A social “sieve” is one of the most vital ingredients in the path of Becoming. Let go of an “of-no-use” social baggage!

Becoming is Timeless

On another note, as I said earlier, “Becoming” is a timeless journey. One in which two things happen that determine how you perceive yourself and, consequently, how far you will go. The first thing is DISCOVERING the Self and the second is EMBRACING it. Let’s start with the discovering part. In this journey of finding “self”, you will find or make discoveries about yourself. This is timeless! You will discover your strengths, your “can dos”, your unique gifting and talents, you discover purpose and the things that make you swell-up with passion. But, you will also discover your weaknesses, your flaws, your areas of incompetency, YOUR CAN’TS.

Then there is the embracing part. This one comes with understanding two sides of the coin of self and being content with them. This is one weapon that will make becoming, or birthing the self a reachable destination. Let us learn to accept ourselves for who we are. Becoming comes from a clear and undistorted self-concept. Being content with keep YOU sane. It saves you from unnecessary envy and a competitive mindset. That is where the tranquil state of becoming springs up from.

Dear lady, be you unapologetically, enjoy the journey of becoming, realize that the sky is not the limit. You belong to the Maker of the stars so like them, don’t be afraid to shine. Break that limit, explore the universe and conquer the skies!!!!

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