PULL UPS AIN’T PULLING ME UP- GYM LIFE STRUGGLES

***THIS IS PART 1 OF A 2-PART POST***

So, in August (or was it July? I can’t remember now) I decided I was about to take my #fitnessgoals to another level. I was on some, “ok Nosi, you KNOW you are on that get healthy tip and have been trying that wog (jog and walk) regime three times a week. How about we hit the gym?” Yea, yea, yea… Also, going to the gym is cool right? So I hit up my older sister, who has been religiously doing the gym thing for a while now, and I’m like “hook me up with that gym membership sis” and she does. So it’s game time and I have the hello Coca-Cola body type thing going in my head already.

The idea of it was exciting but the practice, not so much. Sooooo, the first week of the gym comes around and I am pumped – really, this was the second week, but I only went once the first week so that doesn’t count. Also, I am like, I paid for the month… The month will end soon… I have only been to the gym once… I am not doing this to my money (really my sister’s money but hey)… Let’s get this…. I better max out on this gym membership now…

And then there were pull-ups – Disclaimer, let’s be honest for a second. It wasn’t pull-ups, it was sit-ups but I wasn’t about to mess with the “Pull ups ain’t pulling me up” title so here we are ‘\_(“/)_/’ (That is a shrugging woman emoji, FYI). Y’all, I have never wanted to cry endurance tears this much in my life!!! It was legit, I was on some “heck no, I am not about to do this” tip but I had to…While the experience itself is nothing to write home about *boohoo Coca-Cola body* and *respect to those that hit the gym religiously* I took some lessons from the whole experience that I figured I’d share…. So here goes.

Lesson 1: Your SQUAD better be LEGIT

So, I did those sit-ups, right? Wrong!! I was losing fam! Like, it was bad. I didn’t want to do it anymore. The only thing in my head was, what in the world was I thinking signing up for this gym membership… But you know what? My sister didn’t let me give up.

At some point, she gave me that “big sister look.” You know that looks that tells you, you better pick yourself up real quick. Yea, that one! At some point she hit me with that, “Nosi, we paid for this and you are going to do this thing. When and where will you learn if you don’t do it right here and right now?” I wasn’t happy about that… NOT.ONE BIT!!

It was at that moment, though, that I realized she was NOT going to let me give up. Sometimes we get into situations and places where giving up is easy; where it is easy to let it go because we are lacking in endurance. It seems like the back, where we came from, is so much better than the future that seems unreachable. Those are the moments when you need the squad the most. If you have it right, they are the ones who will shift your focus from your sphere of concern to your sphere of influence. I beg, get you a legit squad.

Lesson 2: Your DRIVE better be LEGIT

One thing I know, the trainers’ drive was legit! Hahaha. No, seriously! The guy had me! He insisted that I wasn’t going to stop until I could throw the ball far enough (yes, yes, there was a ball. I had to do sit-ups AND throw a 4kg ball!! I.FREAKING.KNOW).

Let’s talk vision, mission and aims for a minute. We need to create a vision for our life that is focused on a solid purpose, a purpose that is bigger than ourselves. I told y’all, my motivation for the gym life was a “coca-cola body” but – to be honest – it was much more than that. It was about getting myself toned up, boosting my health habits and becoming a “fitter me” (corny I know). I am not sure if that is “a purpose that is bigger than [myself]” but that was my drive alright.

We need to get ourselves to a place where we are driven to achieve our goals at all costs!! It would have been easy for me to walk out of the gym at that moment, no one was stopping me after all, but I decided I wouldn’t do that. I wasn’t about to let my drive down. When our drive comes from the inside, it becomes legit. When it is inspired by our purpose rather than social media or social constructs, we have no option but to pursue it. One of my inspirations in a legit drive has been my younger sister for a while. I remember this girl taking a gap year because she made it into a Chemical Engineering program but not a Medicine program. She said, nope, ain’t gonna do that. Imma try until I get into medicine – she graduates next year!

How many times have you thought about quitting and then remembered your drive? How many times have you quit because you forgot what your drive was? Or maybe, how many times have you quit because your drive wasn’t strong enough; wasn’t legit? This was a big lesson for me in redefining my doubt and making it the legit-est it can be! We need to have a drive that will force us to do things, to put in the work, even when we don’t feel like doing it.

***Watch out for Lesson 3 and 4 in October***

“Be around people that make you want to be a better person, who make you feel good, make you laugh, and remind you what’s important in life.”

― Germany Kent

#BECOMING – Featuring Njabu “Enjay” Khoza

Ok, ok!!! I am so excited about the July edition of #Thriving!!! I don’t get to write this month but Enjay graces your phones (or laptops, or reading apps, or whatever). If you are in Swaziland – aka Eswatini, aka the best kingdom on this side of heaven – you’ve probably heard her spit fire… If you haven’t, you’re a slacker and you need to do better fam!!!

Imma be nice to you and hook you up with her Instagram! Check it out….

There are a lot of things we will do in this lifetime. Some of them pleasant, and exciting and some of them not so much. Some we do accidentally and others intentionally. Becoming, however, remains inevitable. From birth, our parents overlooked the process, well at least as far as we know, they were supposed to. Teaching us right from wrong, what’s appropriate and what isn’t, which road is worth the hustle and which one isn’t, and every other ideal imaginable. So much can be said, on becoming, but one thing for sure is that if you are old enough to read this, then it’s about time you took the rails, and control who you’re becoming, what you’re becoming.

Quick disclaimer, I am not an expert “becomer-er”😏, quite frankly, I’m barely a functional adult. But I’ve realized the power of being honest about where I am, in order to get to where I am going, because it is evident that I’m going somewhere and I’d like to know where that is, God forbid I end up in a place, in a person I dread. Which is why I had to start somewhere,

Step 1: Scary step. Call yourself out on the person that you have found yourself. Question who you are, shake your foundations now while you do not have to, before you encounter a situation that insists on it. This is not a one day step, to be honest, this is a state you must live in. Do you really hate racism? Why Christianity? Why do you use the toilet paper that you use? Question everything that you have inherited, and allow yourself to change your mind after careful consideration. This is the 1st and final step to becoming, simply put, introspection.

I know it often seems like the day we were born our body landed in one place and our purpose or truest self or whatever it is we are in search for was broken into a thousand pieces and scattered all over the world, and the body was tasked with the mandate to run around like a headless chicken trying to find and piece those pieces back together.

Before God sent us into this world, he whispered all the things that we are, and not just those we ought to be when we get to earth, but the vigorous journey seems to have wiped our memories clean. And the only things worth piecing together are those lost within ourselves. What we are looking for is not abstract, but is greatly familiar to us, and focusing all that energy on improving personal existence in every moment is how we jog that memory.

Hold it right There, please get me right. When I speak of improving yourself, I’m not even on that St Teressa tip. The noblest course a person can ever pursue in life is that of self-fulfillment. Do not do things that do not resonate from within you. Do not contribute to a course you do not believe in, not until you’ve established who you are, who you want to be, and where you’re going with all this. Putting glitters on a wound makes it pretty, but also spreads the infection. Do not donate to orphans or other vulnerable groups if that is not where your sympathies lie. If you do not like the fact that you don’t sympathize with them, find out why and perhaps you will learn that you would much rather be involved in their empowerment. Do not fall into the pressures of political correctness. Do not smile at people you don’t like, if you don’t like the person that makes you out to be, then get to the root of the problem and address it. Stop with painkillers and start with treatment. From the inside out. So as far as “fake it till you make it” is concerned in this matter, I rule against it, this world needs people with conviction, and to build conviction “address it till you become it”.

Decisions are never final, only consequential, and if you ever find yourself regretting a decision. Pick another one, with consequences more along the lines of what you can live with.

With your patience, I’d like to share where I am with my journey to becoming. After carefully considering the pros and cons, the whole saga, I’ve decided that I’d like to put all my efforts into preserving my youth. 😒 Okay, wait, before you roll your eyes at this cliche, her me out first. I want to hold onto my free pass, being exempt from the formalities of the world. Always needing empowerment of some sort in a certain area of expertise, in all areas of expertise. I want to hold on to the feeling that at any point in time I can choose a different path for my life for whatever reason my recklessness sees for. I never want to know better. I’ve seen the people that know better and their lives are a sight for sore eyes.

I have no desire to walk about this world as though I possess some kind of profound wisdom when in fact it is wisdom that possesses me. There is no running away from the knowledge the journey, but I will not worship it, I will acknowledge it’s existence and use it in relevance but I will not be a slave to logic. For the longest time, this has been the enticement of adulthood for me, the ability to command this aura of wisdom and knowledge. The fastest way to close yourself out to something is to possess it. A person who owns a cell phone or 2 has no reason to get another and must simply be satisfied with what they have. I cannot bring myself to be satisfied with what I currently know. I want to die, still not having figured life out, But having explored as much of it as possible.

So to put it less dramatically, I’d like to become young at heart and mind, ever inquisitive and well established yet humble building my convictions from the ground up as opposed to adopting them. Without being ignorant of the less rosy consequential attributes of a questionable sense of loyalty. Nonetheless, at the sight of new information, I have the freedom to change my mind 💁. Although when it comes to becoming, I’m not sure if anyone ever arrived