A few weeks ago, WordPress reminded me that I have been on these streets for 6 years. Y’all SIX FREAKING YEARS!!! As a commitment-phobe (but the type where commitment doesn’t like me not the other way round) this is amazing!! School is the only other thing a girl has committed to that long. I was thinking of renaming this blog “the journey of a part-time masters student who is a full-time employee starting her first teaching side job and a wannabe NGO-ist/wannabe businesswoman who purchased her first cow”. I don’t know exactly how to label it but I think that is the thing that I am about to retitle this blog as. Really, I am just kidding. I think of this idea at 7.39am on this Sunday morning because I got frustrated and switched off my laptop… because I was trying to find articles for my master’s research paper – it’s not even a research paper, that’s the ridiculous thing about it. It’s an assignment that I have to work on that requires a set minimum of citations and you know I am an overachiever so I’m like it has to at least be 20 as I don’t want to do the bare minimum for this. Anyways, it’s Sunday morning, theoretically, I should be preparing for church – which I am – but I’ve been up since 4.0am because I was trying to do some work for the NGO and for my class before I start my day. Am I going to survive? I don’t know.
I looked at my table and I was about to take a picture of the mess that’s my coffee table (that’s what you call it right?) and I was like Nah fam… This is a mess, DON’T DO IT! So I did not do it and basically what is life? I don’t know what life is, I am about to be a mess but actually…. And as I think about this more, there’s just so much going on and it’s encouraging when there are parts that have no sticky notes on my planner (not planner board though). I am retitling this blog (but not really), we will see how that goes but I feel like one day I want to look at this journey and laugh – or cry – about it and when I think about doing a PhD in the future so I can stop myself because I am sure if I had done a recap or a reflection of my undergrad I probably wouldn’t have gone back for my masters so this is my brain check, rain check type situation. But also, I think it’s important for us to share our struggles as women trying to do the most; as women trying to take up space because it is not easy on these streets. There are so many expectations that come with being a female. Like, I am 27 almost 28 people are starting to get worried that I am not married, people are starting to get worried that I have no children, people are starting to get worried that I am actually legitimately considering buying a dog (*Whispering* I bought one by the way. Okay, I won’t tell anyone). So it’s like, you know, it’s very hard and then you have to juggle all these parts; you have to perform in all areas, you have to overperform in all areas too because hey, we are taking up space right? But it’s just very encouraging. Like, I have read a lot of blogs where people are telling their own story and I’ve thought that it’s important. For me, it’s been important to see, not just the good parts of it but the struggles of it as well, the struggles that women have experienced as part of their come up and the struggles that women; not just considering themselves as women perse but as professionals have struggled with. Because the female thing is just an addendum right? That’s what you call it right? Of this. SO yah… 6 years later…
Welcome to my journey. Welcome to the journey of a woman in the second year of actually running her NGO. Welcome to the journey of a woman in her first year of her master’s program welcome to the journey of a woman on her route to self-actualisation, Welcome to the world of a woman on the road to self-care – mentally, physically, emotionally. Welcome to the world of a woman on her journey of spiritual identification and crossroads. Welcome to the journey of a woman BEEEEECOMMMMINNNGGGG!!! Hahaha, you thought I’d leave that? Nah fam, Nah!!! Welcome, welcome! It’s gonna be fun, it’s going to be an exciting journey. Hopefully, I can keep track of these, hopefully, I can produce a new blog every 2 weeks (Don’t hold me to this though). I promise no promises but I will try! Welcome, to the life, of a wanna be!! Welcome to the life of someone struggling with imposter syndrome day in and day out. Welcome to the life of a woman trying to take up space in the world of networking and engagement and failing to figure out how! Welcome to the life of a woman trying to go into the world of academia and struggling. with validation.every day. Welcome to the life of a woman living in a “studio” flat – batsi ma bedsitter ngesiSwati actually – and trying to make a flat a home. Welcome to the life of a woman who buys her own flowers because I ain’t waiting for anybody to buy me flowers plus they look pretty on my table!! Welcome to the life of a woman working towards being a doggie mama
Okay, cool. That’s it…. REBRANDIIIIING (but not really)