Mess Up to Clean Up

So I was cleaning up the other day – Aaaaand, by the other day I mean a few hours ago because #Saturday. I’ve been told that’s how “adulting” works. You get on that 8-4/9-5/whatever your 8-10 hour workday looks like. So you do that, right, from Monday to Friday and then you “take care of the housework” on the weekend. I had to pause for a second and ask where the “fun” times fit into that whole schedule and I am slowly realizing the fun is in the housework… hehehe….

Anyways, I was doing what every “proper adult” does on the weekend and I made a mess of the kitchen!! When I say mess, I mean ME…E…SS.SSS!!! For a second I had to laugh at myself for 2 reasons: (1) because I was like, but I thought you were CLEANING UP Nosi!!! And (2) because I realized how much I was (and am) failing at this adulting thing. Then I realized, in so many ways, the picture in front of me was a portrait of life itself – CLEANING UP CAN BE MESSY!!

Seriously!!! Ask anyone who has ever ended a relationship or marriage, relocated, or tried to end an addiction. Ask me, I’ve been trying to end the social media “addiction” for the longest time and it’s been a mess!!! *Hides face, weeps quietly*. The point is, we often fear the mess that comes with cleaning up that we avoid it entirely. Having made – and conquered – the kitchen mess, I have decided I’m about to go on a mess-up-clean-up season in my life.

I am cleaning out my closet

I have been toying with the idea of cleaning out my closet for the longest time and ALWAYS find a reason not to. It ranges from, “I don’t have clothes so I really shouldn’t be getting rid of anything” (said as I try to figure out where to fit the rest of my folded clothes) and then it becomes, “I cleaned out recently when I moved” (recently being last May as I moved out of an apartment I’d lived in for 2 years). There is always a reason why cleaning up isn’t a good idea.

Then, of course, there’s the part that thinks about all the clothes that’ll be lying around as I decide what to keep and what to get rid of. Hello fear of the “mess”. Not anymore!! I am moving into my closet….. soon. Hahaha

I have been toying with the idea of minimalism for a minute now. I have been listening to podcasts, reading books, watching videos on the gains that might come from that. So I think that cleaning out my closet will be moving one step closer to achieving that. (P.S. If you know anyone who had pursued that minimalism route halla at me, I need some motivation).

I am cleaning out my refrigerator (and pantry)

Disclaimer: I don’t own a pantry. Hahaha!!! What I am getting at here is, America spoilt me!!! See, growing up in my mother’s house (and my sister and brother’s house too), we didn’t eat out much. My mom boiled a lot of our food, we had a lot of vegetables (granted most of them were harvested from the backyard so there’s that). Coming to college though, I stopped cooking at home and ate out a lot. If it wasn’t the cafeteria it was Papa Johns. If it wasn’t Papa Johns it was the sonic that is literally a 5 minute walk from my apartment!! It just got easier to eat out and harder to stay in. If I am cooking, it got easy to forget the vegetables (because who has time to cook an extra dish besides your carbs and proteins).

So in cleaning out my fridge and my imaginary pantry, I am cleaning up my health and choosing to do right by my eating habits. Here’s how that might get messy, this girl LOVES her fried chicken nuggets/fried chicken eerrrthang!!! Additionally, (yep, I used additionally), while I enjoy cooking every now and again, I am not one to habitually cook so here’s to more messy kitchens in the future. It’s a one step at a time thing that I am willing to pursue though because, hey, the mess comes with rewards eventually.

I am cleaning up my heart!!

Oooooh, I went deep there!! You were never ready!!! One of my favorite verses gives this advice: “above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it”. How true that is! I am realizing that there are a lot of things that shouldn’t matter that I take to heart and, in turn, tend to respond negatively to situations and events. I refuse to let my heart be unguarded so I am taking initiative to ensure that it remains pure.

One of the ways I am doing this is ending relationships that really should have ended a LONG time ago. Now, now, I know that y’all get carried away at the word “relationships” but for me it encompasses all kinds of “-ships”. You know those friendships that you KNOW you should have ended ages ago, the ones that drain you rather than give life! I am slowly bidding those farewell, one step at a time… That’s about to get real messy.

My relationship with fear, worry, negativity, those are being cut off as well…. You know why that is hard and messy? Well I’ll tell you why… I feel like we get to a place where all these emotions start to give us comfort; you are comfortable staying in the same place because then your fears definitely will not come to pass; you get comfortable with conformity because you worry that breaking out of it will cause backlash…. You use negativity to justify pessimism (which you mask as realism). I mean, the list goes on and on and on. I refuse to let these relationships run my life so, with no sorry, I say bye.

Think about your life, about what you do whether it is work or school. Think about the things you do (and those that you don’t do). Ask yourself, am I afraid to clean up in these areas because I think things might get messy? Your fear is probably valid but, here’s the beautiful thing, the other side of that mess will be beauty – FULL. So, why not join me on that mess up to clean up journey!!! We’ve got this!!!

#Messuptocleanup…. It begins with a mess, it begins with you!!


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