“Maybe the journey isn’t so much about becoming anything. Maybe it’s about unbecoming everything that isn’t really you, so you can be who you were meant to be in the first place”
So I came across this quote during one of my Pinterest adventures… (Ummm, yes!!! I Pinterest…. LIKE A BOSS!!!)… It stopped me in my tracks, I added it to my Motivation Mondays board… And, yes again. I have a board called Motivation Mondays because Mondays are hard. Window into my life, hahaha. Anyways, before I get carried away, this quote (or is it quotation?) spoke to me on so many levels as I realized that I – like many other people, I hope – am constantly becoming. I figured hey, how about I share my “becomings”, so here it is.
I am becoming WISE
I am not feeling this wisdom as I study for the GREs and hence find solace in the fact that, apparently, it’s not about the destination. Trust me when I say I have rescheduled my GRE exam THREE TIMES!!! But, you know what they say, the third time is a charm!!! I’m on a role with these quotations today hey!! Haha.
Now, I do realize that wisdom and my ability to cram GRE content in are not really the same thing but you see where I was going with that, yes? We have always been told that wisdom comes with age, which is true, but why haven’t many of us asked for a clearer definition of this statement? Well, I have and what I think is this, the wisdom comes with having experienced the lack of it in the decisions we make. It comes from putting our hands over the fire and realizing it burns, that burns hurt, and that others will have to go through the same steps to fully understand the intensity of the fire. This wisdom comes with walking into the rain, without an umbrella, and letting others know never to do that because being wet is no fun.
Wisdom comes with experiences; it comes with lessons that we have to learn over and over and over again before we can accept them. So, in becoming wise, I am unlearning the idea that I have to wait until I’m old and frail before I can embrace wisdom. I am acknowledging that my current state of being is not without its own wisdoms and, by that same token, I am appreciating that my wisdom can only grow as I go through more lessons and that I must let go of all that isn’t wisdom along the way.
I am becoming FEARLESS
I recently found myself in a situation where I was dumbfounded in front of a potential future employer. Here is what happened: I showed up, I had practiced this speech on salary negotiation, I even watched YouTube videos I tell you. But, when the moment came, I had nothing to say. NOTHING!! NADA!!! I was there like, yep, that’s good I’ll take that. Then of course I played out different ways the conversation could have turned out for days to come. I have had dreams (and nightmares) about this moment for days!!! Haha. I laugh but it’s true!!!
I, a self-proclaimed feminist, equality advocate (I do realize that’s repetition right there) and a competitive speaker for 10+ years was stuck!!! How sad. This is just an example of an area where I have been fearful, there are so many others. The sad thing is, in many instances where we face moments of fear, being fearless is not that hard. Sometimes, we assume that we have to be at a certain place, a certain level, before we can exercise fearlessness. Imagine the kid who fears the dark and thinks, “when I get older the dark will fear me”. That is us, me, in many instances.
I am unbecoming all the strongholds that impose fear in my life. I am realizing that practice makes perfect in the fearlessness journey. I am unlearning the notion that I have a reason to fear something, anything or anyone!! So that’s that!!! Goodbye fear!!
I am becoming STRONG
Now, now… I am strong already. Sometimes I face areas that I have never encountered before and I experience moments of weakness. But boy, oh boy am I strong!! And I will say it as often as it takes for me to believe that and walk out in it. I am unbecoming weakness; weakness perpetuated by my gender, skin color, national origin, belief system, you name it!!
I am realizing that strength is a constant growing point too. That, at 2, strength meant being able to confidently walk a few feet but means being able to run a half-marathon at 24 (Yes, I have a dream!! Help me Jesus). That strength will mean being able to make confident strides with a walker in old age. I am unbecoming strength-comparison because that’s the reason we often doubt our own strength.
Yes, letting go of strength comparison is hard. Picture this; you’re at the gym trying hard to run 3 miles and the person on the treadmill next to you is on their 5th mile like there ain’t nothing to it. At that point, if you’re me, you lowkey think about leaving the gym and coming back later because the pressure. But, unbecoming means I learn to appreciate the ability to run a mile non-stop. So hey, hello strong me!!
I am becoming LOVE
Yeah, yeah… Cliché, I know!!! But seriously, there’s a lot to be said about love. We lose friends through disagreements. We lose family, for whatever reason. Sometimes, we lose the ones we love in an intimate way and those things redefine our perspectives on what love is. I am unbecoming hate, or distaste, or whatever you want to call it. I refuse to let past loses define future opportunities to love.
There’s a lot that is said about love: that it “covers a multitude of sins”, that we “can’t explain love” that “love is blind” and on and on the list goes. It is because of the things we hear, the things we believe, that define how we respond to love – all kinds of love at that.
Oftentimes, we correlate love to intimate relationships so much that we forget to exercise deep love to friends and family. We sulk when we see friends and age-mates post engagement pictures on Facebook, because “when will our time come?” We spend so much time looking to the future and dreaming of that “perfect love”, the “perfect destination” that we forget to live our daily lives in love. But c’mon, we were made to love so let us be.
I am becoming ME
Strong, fearless, wise me!! Love me!! I am becoming the me that I was meant to be in the first place. I am unbecoming everything else because those other things are merely background interferences to the me that is!!! How’s about you do the same, Yah?