I hate finals!!! Ok, maybe hate is a VERY strong word so scratch that. I don’t appreciate finals week very much. In fact, like many people, I just legit do not appreciate the act of testing for anything really. I am not competitive, I think competition results in conflict – ain’t nobody got time for that. I hate being under pressure, which is why I choose to be an excessive scheduler. Yep, ask my friends and they’ll tell you the state of my calendar is kind of ridiculous.
Anyways, I digress. The point is, I just hate the idea of cumulative tests. It’s almost like – in fact not almost, this is what it is (in my opinion anyways) – your whole person is narrowed down to 2 hours of your life. Whether or not you learnt the content is defined by how you perform in those two hours. But really, it is not about your performance, it is about how well you have studied your professor and his marking style (if the exam is comprehensive) or how well you have memorized practice problems, equations and words. So really, when all is said and done it really has NOTHING to do with how much you know, in my opinion anyways. What mess is that?
I saw a post once (thanks Neira) that basically suggested that it is not fair that you don’t get to choose how you are born and what “creature” you are. Lord knows if that were the case I would have loved to be a corgi, how cute are they? The post pretty much argues that social constructs define whether or not we need an education, a job, and all that yadayada. I thought about if for a second, I am still thinking about it actually, but then I was like, of course then I’d find some corgi problems to complain about.
So, based on social constructs – which are pretty much, your parents if you are African (or Asian I have heard, or really a lot of academically inclined parents) – I have to get an education of sorts. In order to move forward, I have to take a test of sorts. What is life but a multi-faceted finals week yah? So as I was complaining about everything that is wrong with finals week two days ago, I was reminded of the power of positive thinking. And then, Colossians 3:23: the reminder that everything that I do I should do as if for the Lord… ouch Holy Spirit.
So at first, of course, I was there like, so you are trying to tell me that even in complaining I should do it as if for the Lord and he was like, yep. Then it hit me. Imagine that every time you complain, you are complaining “unto the Lord” – or any other higher deity if you are not into the Jesus thing” or, if you are not into the “religion thing” imagine that you are complaining to your parents/support system/person who takes care of you and your needs for and about all that they have worked hard to do for you. It was an awakening point really. I was there like; do I really want to be complaining to JS for everything, all the time? What life is this filled with complaining?
I started thinking about it in a range of ways. Like, how does he feel when I complain about people that I love – wouldn’t that be me saying “hey Jesus thanks for thinking I need friends and family but in your face, why were you so kind to me?” Or, “ola Daddy Jesus, you are cool and all but how dare you give me the opportunity to get an education and all these great opportunities when I could have been a corgi?” Don’t get me wrong, a certain level of complaining is healthy for you, I think, but wouldn’t we all complain a little less if we put things into perspective.
Now, I have complained a lot this week. I have justified my complaints in a lot of ways and that’s ok because I know the great GD can handle that. But I also learnt a lesson on how a changing perspective alters the way I can respond to different situations. Complaining is a choice, yah? You get to decide how you get to respond to your emotions and for me, that’ll be less complaining this week (and the next week, and the near and far future too) because, come on, when you start looking at the bigger pictures, it is never as bad as it seems.
When it comes down to it, complaining is like worrying – it doesn’t change a single thing really, it only creates a negative vibe/atmosphere and makes you feel even worse about something that you cannot change, which can only be healthy for so long. Upside, I have one more final to go (which I really should be studying for rather than blogging) and then it is winter break. So one page at a time, one less complaint at a time, I am throwing that negativity in the trashcan.
In conclusion (yep, I just did that. Don’t you hate it when you write a paper and you cannot seem to get a perfect transition line/word and end up using “in conclusion”), my procrastination time is over. Evidently this is not an ode, sorry not sorry, it’s more of a rant if you ask me but from each rant comes a Holy Spirit intervention/conversation/moment of truth/perspective moment. So that’s that. And now, watch me whip, watch me think-about-all-the-ways-being-a-corgi-would-be-awesome!!!
#HolySpiritalwayskeepsitreal!!! (Holy Spirit Always Keeps it Real)
“Do everything readily and cheerfully – not bickering, no second guessing allowed [without grumbling and faultfinding and complaining and questioning and doubting AMP]”
– Philippians 2:14 [MSG]